Like Family Members

Cisco’s John Chambers is stepping down after 20 years as CEO. What’s the secret to his success? Treat employees like family! At least, that’s what he says.

Of course, considering the tens of thousands of “family members” that Chambers has axed over the years, I wonder what it’s like around the dinner table with his actual family, not his pretend family. Billy, be a good boy and pass me the gravy.

Billy reaches for the gravy bowl.

STAB STAB STAB while his back is turned. Billy bleeds out.

And how was your day, dear?

Pimpin aint easy but being a billionaire’s not always fun and games, either, you know. Just ask the “frugal” Jack Dorsey. Dude is living large, tweeting us his So Very Steve Zen sayings while nailing B-class runway models on his yacht. Now he’s pulled back in to run Twitter because the jackals on Wall Street told the board they had to do something and the board was like, fuck, if we knew what to do we would have done it, so, fuck, only thing to do is bring in Jack and let him take the heat.

Please. Dorsey isn’t set up to actually *run* a company.

Lucky for him Marissa Mayer has a Gringot’s vault worth of cash and not a fucking clue. Would be the perfect sale for both.

Speaking of billionaires, if I had a dollar for every Apple cheerleader who howled SAMSUNG COPIED! MICROSOFT COPIED! GOOGLE COPIED! then fucking did a lying fucking song and dance to pretend Apple didn’t copy, what was I saying? Oh, right, I’d be a billionaire myself. Anyhow…

But copying is *never* the big story. Take Apple’s COPY! of the Surface split screen. Of course the new iPad is copying Surface. Only a lying paid hack flunky would say otherwise. But that’s not the point! The point is…

wait for it

…that Apple has abandoned its years-long (and utterly foolish) UI focus on…focus. The split-screen iPad is the first of what will be many Apple capitulations to our preferred reality: we want lots of apps running, we want lots of windows showing, we want to multitask. Always.

One app filling the screen, one software program with a little green circle to fill the screen — to get us to “focus” — is a failed construct. I suspect this shift will have a more far-reaching impact on Apple UI going forward than the shift (in fits and starts) from skeuomorphic to flat (which was also a COPY!).



I’ll single out Techcrunch cause they’re the low-hanging fruit but the fact is when it comes to writing about tech, these sites aren’t in the business of writing or reporting or journalism. They are in the business of clicks and sponsors and events.

That *demands* promotion.

The bloggers are there to promote the next insanely great no matter how big a turd it really is.

So I absolutely can’t blame TechCrunch writers and others for leaving “journalism” to go work for VCs. Only a fool would promote VC investments on a journalist’s wage.

No, I did not read a single of the rebuttals to the WSJ post “Why Apple Should Kill Off The Mac.” What would be the point? I’ll just say two things re this.

It’s sad that the WSJ has to resort to this type of nonsense link bait.

It’s not just troll-wrong its profoundly stupidly wrong.

Apple makes *all* its profits — and it makes more profits than anyone else — on high-margin computerized screens. That’s it. High-margin computerized screens. The Mac is one of them. Apple isn’t going to make *fewer* high-margin computerized screens. They are going to make more. THAT’S WHAT CORPORATIONS DO! So, yes, iPads, iPhones, Watches, and Macs…TVs and more. This is obvious to anyone paying attention.

Every site that’s gotten rid of me has seen their traffic plummet. This does not upset me.

Analysts are missing just how much younger females are drawn to — and can fully optimize — the Snapchat platform. Something is happening here and I’m probably not cut out to fully understand it. But, damn, if we could combine Snapchat and Pinterest, I’d be all TAKE MY MONEY NOW! to the board.

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