Reader delmiller shares his thoughts on the pricey Super Bowl ad by Samsung. He found nothing to like. I, at least, was happy that those sad hipsters finally showed they were capable of having fun.

So who exactly is the Samsung ad meant to persuade, and what are they trying to persuade them of?

Taking the second question first, I guess the pitch is that people who stand in line to buy an iPhone--implying, of course, that they are typical all iPhone users--are a bored and boring group of mindless, faux hip followers who are only awaiting something better (a Stylus!) to snap them out of their delusion. Maybe I’m missing something but that seems to be about it. 

So, on to the first question: Who is Samsung trying to reach with this message?

Is it the tens of thousands of people who do stand in line for Apple products now? If so, I think Sammie just scored a giant miss because these people do not see themselves at all like those portrayed in the commercial. 

Could it be that Samsung is aiming at Apple users in general? I sincerely doubt that. An enormous percentage of people in art, music, literature (e.g. Brian,) entertainment, science and education are, these days, pretty avid Mac users. They also happen to be some of the most interesting, independent, dynamic and creative people around. Not saying Windows users can’t be cool as well, but I can pretty much guarantee that the bulk of Apple’s customers would not recognize themselves in that commercial and, at most, it would just piss them off. 

What about the average potential customer weighing whether to buy an iPhone or a Galaxy? Does Samsung figure that this hypothetical average person can be shamed into not buying Apple by association with the brainwashed crowd in line for the iPhone? Doubt it. People who don’t hang out on tech blogs--which is 99+ percent of the population--simply aren’t in on the joke. The Apple hate we read about online accounts for such a pathetically microscopic piece of the general public image of Apple and its users that the stereotyping will simply be a giant non-sequiter.  “Who are those people again, Ethel?” 

Perhaps Samsung is aiming at the group that may already see Apple users as sedated line-sitters--intensely loyal Android fans--who might be inclined to buy HTC or Motorola or something. But sheesh, convincing an HTC buyer to go Samsung by bashing Apple users? Might work. Maybe. But a Super Bowl commercial wasted on that? Besides, the concept that because someone likes an Android phone they will surely mock Apple and its fans is a pretty juvenile idea limited, again, to the tiny fraction of people that get worked up over stuff like that. 

Now some might say that the Get A Mac ads with Justin Long and John Hodgeman were similar to Samsung’s recent ads. But no, Hodgeman didn’t play a PC user, he played an actual PC. And the character he played was witty, likable and fun; if perhaps a bit desperate. No PC users were harmed in the making of those ads. 

The worst Apple commercial ever aired is widely acknowledged to be the famous “Lemmings” commercial of the last century. In it, Apple compared the users of IBM PC’s to lemmings, mindlessly following each other off a cliff. It turned out that this was so insulting to the users of IBM compatibles that it actually cost Apple users. 

So I can’t figure out who this commercial is for and what it is really trying to accomplish. It is a vague insult aimed at an obscure group for the benefit of a public that by and large doesn’t really know or care about techie sub-culture. 

My guess is that the ad was dreamed up by an ad agency manned by a bunch of self-styled, hipster techies who are just plugged into the tech culture to know about Apple hating, and just self-indulgent enough to think they are representative of America at large. 

Two  thumbs down.

This commercial I wanted to like. 

Samsung spent big on the Super Bowl and, I think, wasted their money.

I have never cared for the Samsung commercials that mock the Apple fanboys. Mostly because those people look nothing like the throngs I see everytime I venture into an Apple Store.

Plus, when you are selling the most, as Samsung currently is, mocking your competitor seems like a losing strategy. Why bring them into the mix?

But the primary reason I have not cared much for this Samsung hate-on-Apple ad campaign is because I think it's target is off, way off. There's plenty of Apple haters out there who no doubt love anyone that mocks Team Apple. My guess is, all the while sceeching that "APPLE IS A MARKETING COMPANY" they are easily swayed by, er, marketing.

But can marketing really be enough to get these haters and Android fanboys to buy Samsung?

Samsung spends almost no time on their actual product! They do not tell you why they are superior choice to Droid or HTC, for example, and I'm not sure if they even mention iPhone directly. It's like they're mocking Apple, but behind their back when they know Apple's not looking.

Seems weak.

Yet for their big, expensive, extended Super Bowl advertisement, I was certain they would step up their game. Instead, Samsung crashed and burned.

Not for trying. But because Steve Jobs was right.

A stylus means you failed.

For reasons I cannot fully understand, Samsung chose to blow their Super Bowl cash wad on the Galaxy Note. That big honking is-it-a-smartphone-is-it-a-tablet device that I seriously doubt anyone will actually pay for. 

But even that is not as big a failure as the stylus, which they so prominently feature -- and which they so laughably suggest would mesmerize the most hardened Apple fanboy.

I don't want to be a fanboy myself here. I am sure that for some people in some use cases, a stylus could be appropriate. I just don't believe the numbers of such people warrant a big media blitz.

Yet the stylus was the pillar upon which the commercial rested upon. All I could think about while watching was...Jobs was right.

I mean, *most* of the time you will not be using a stylus. Where does it go? In your pocket? I'm be terrified I'd puncture my scrotum. What happens if you lose it?

How much will a replacement cost?

Will app developers get lazy and lean on the stylus instead of building great apps that don't require you to pull out a stylus, magnify the screen, and write?

Prior to iPad, I assumed a stylus was necessary. Post-iPad I realized, as did everyone but Samsung, it is a failure. Exactly as Jobs stated. The negatives of its inclusion significantly outweigh the positives of exclusion.

And, yes, Android fanboys. If you buy this device, all the world will know its because you just want to be part of a cult and that you drop your hard earned cash on products just because some big company tells you to.

I always chuckle at the Apple haters who insist -- vociferously -- that Apple is a "marketing company" and that people buy Apple products because they are weak and are marketed to, nothing more.

This is not merely a lie. It is stupid.

And if you actually watch/view any Apple advertisement, the focus is on the product and its benefits -- to you.

On virtually any (open source!) (free!) Android product, by contrast, it's always focused on the 'coolness' and hipness and design and the fetishization of the device.

So much so that it's so patently obvious to all that only the Android fanboys with the most severe case of Apple Derangement Syndrome refuse to accept the truth.

Which is why I am not at all surprised that Samsung's head of marketing doesn't want us to think about Samsung products but instead, wants us to "feel" various, well, feelings about Samsung products.

This is not surprising. Samsung has attempted to wholesale copy Apple in device design, branding and distribution. They beliee, apparently, that there's a market for people that (secretly) want Apple but can't bring themselves to admit it.

And Samsung has been damn successful with this 'we are Apple but not really Apple' strategy, dominating the Android market.

Now, Samsung wants to copy what they *think* Apple's marketing strategy is: all about feelings...

As a user of Apple products, I can say my feelings toward my device are derived, first and foremost, by their clearly superior usability, build quality and functionality.

If Samsung wants repeat touchy-feely Android fanboy business, they better bring the quality as much as they bring the marketing.

From Samsung's head of marketing, whom, I confess I did not know this and am surprised to learn this, is a woman:

Samsung marketing executive Younghee Lee wants consumers to stop thinking about her company.

Instead, Lee wants consumers to start feeling something about Samsung and its products.

As head of marketing for the Korean electronics maker, Lee said she wants to figure out “how I can engage with consumers from the bottom of their heart, and not just be a big and functional and rational and reasonable brand.”

Lee, who worked for cosmetics brands L’Oreal and Lancome before joining Samsung four and a half years ago, said she wants consumers to love Samsung, to be obsessed with the company and its products.

Nowhere is that more clear than in the company’s current U.S. ad campaign, where the Korean company positions its products as the cooler alternative to the iPhone, despite the cultlike atmosphere that surrounds Apple.

Next time you hear a mindless Android fanboy/Apple hater talk about "marketing", just remind them that the biggest, baddest maker of ANdroid, is a copycat brand that relies heavily on marketing of the kind perfected by a make-up company.

The only one making real money on smartphones is...Apple.

And Samsung.

Apple just announced its prior quarter earnings. The company posted a profit of just over $13 billion. iPhone accounted for approximately $8 billion of that.

Though Apple had an absolutely blowout quarter, driven by the uber-popular iPhone 4S, for all of 2011, however, Samsung just eclipsed Apple in total smartphone sales. From Philip Elmer-DeWitt:

"Apple's introduction of the 4S in the fourth quarter unleashed tremendous pent-up demand for the iPhone as consumers awaited the arrival of the latest model," said IHS senior analyst Wayne Lam. "This caused the company's smartphone shipments to surge, allowing it to retake market leadership by a slight margin. However, Apple and Samsung continue to run neck and neck in global smartphone shipments, setting up a tight battle for leadership that will continue throughout 2012."

However, whereas Apple had a profit from iPhone of about $8 billion, Samsung's was $2.3 billion. For all of "mobile". Not just its Android line. 

Let's assume, though, that nearly all was from Android -- $2 billion, as I'm feeling generous. 

Apple had a 4X profit improvement over Samsung. Plus, Apple can profit from iTunes and App Store. Sales of iPhone support incremental sales of iPad and Apple TV, no doubt. And Macs. The Apple golden halo still remains supreme.

Will Samsung be content with this massive differential?

They are crushing it on sales. They have the most popular Android device and Android product line-up in the world. Unlike nearly *every single other* Android handset maker, they are actually making money. Is this $2 billion enough?

It's obvious how Samsung copy from Apple. No one can deny this. Yet they are only making $2 billion in profit from their extremely popular Android Galaxy line. How much better can they do with Android? They are the #1 Android vendor, the #1 smartphone vendor, have the best and most popular Android devices in the world and are sucking Apple's fumes profit-wise.

Have they peaked?

Google will soon be overseeing all phone development at Motorola, which admittedly makes quality Android devices but can't make a dollar off them. How much love will Google give their biggest ever acquisition? The acquisition that is bigger than all others combined? Should Samsung be concerned? Of course! 

Will Sony finally get their act together in 2012? Will LG? Will the flood of Chinese knock-offs of Samsung Android devices undermine Samsung sales?

Samsung knows this so what will they do? Creating an alternate ecosystem is possible but unlikely to succeed. What deal will Microsoft -- or Amazon -- offer Samsung to jump ship? Or at the least join their rebel alliance?

The Android fanboys will insist that Android -- open source! -- will ultimately destroy iPhone. Perhaps. But not in 2012. Instead, 2012 is the year where I suspect that Android makers willl start devouring one another.

There are many reasons why Samsung is the leading Android handset maker in the world. Many of them, of course, are due to it's mimicking the look and feel of the iPhone, but also to mimicking the marketing and distribution of iPhone.

A focus on the brand name. A single 'lead' device, only. This enables Apple to optimize its supply chain, minimize costs of packaging, distribution and marketing. Users know exactly which is the top-of-the-line device and the company can focus its full marketing resources on promoting that brand and device.

Apple is making nearly all the profits in the smartphone world. What's left for Team Android is flowing primarily to Samsung. Now, HTC is following suit:

With falling sales and declining revenues, HTC says it will slash the number of smartphones it releases in 2012, concentrating on giving its customers “something special”, reports Mobile Today.

HTC’s quarterly net income dropped 26% to $364 million in the fourth quarter, its first profit drop in two years, leading the company to rethink its strategy for the coming year, as it looks to compete with rivals Apple and Samsung.

HTC UK chief Phil Roberson has indicated that instead of “trying to do too much,” it will return to a strategy of launching a small number of high-spec devices.

Not that it will help Nokia much, but the more Android vendors that fail to make an actual profit from using Android, and remember that LG, Sony, Motorola and HTC *all* find it difficult to eke out any profit from Android, the more likeliy they are to give serious love to the Windows Phone platform.

Video via MicGadget.

And if you can briefly ignore the epic chest of girl in white, you have time to ask yourself:

Does Samsung really want to build its marketing campaign on the idea that those who love the latest iPhone, say, are just hipster posers clinging to a brand? 

There may be a billion dirt poor Chinese in this world but there's also 300 million very wealthy ones, and right now, those are the ones buying the high-margin products.

If I were Samsung, I'd spend less time on, you know, marketing, and more time on building fanatical customer loyalty.

Fuck all you Apple bitch whore sheep cocksuckers!

The Samsung Galaxy S II stroke B has Siri, too!

It's mute, but it's pretty much the same.

I've been told that this series of "smartphones make you smarter" Samsung Galaxy commercials are popular and critically acclaimed.

They upset me, frankly.

Though if I had that Paraguyan beauty on the couch I'd finalliy shut the fuck up about smartphones, I can tell you that.