I often kiss you when there's nothing else around

It's September 2010 and some site called "The BIg Think" only just now clues into the fact that we have, you know, feelings for our smartphones.

Apple is doing something far more radical to us as a nation, something that might even outlive the innovative firm itself: it is singlehandedly transforming us into a society that will one day feel comfortable having emotional relationships with machines. At first glance, emotional connectedness to machines sounds like an outlandish statement.

Wha chu talkn bout, Willis!

An outlandish statement!

Gadgets are sex! It's why we want to touch them! Trust me, I know grown men who spend far more time with (and on) their gadgets than any woman. And that's not gonna change anytime soon.

The Japanese stand in stark contrast to us. They are exceptionally fond of their machines, which are without exception small and beautifully designed, even cute. Whether it’s their legendary programmable toilets or their meticulously compact coffeemakers, Japanese household machines fit seamlessly into their environment— man and machine locked in a harmonious tango. Japanese homes also contain electronic gadgets that are far from functional, but are just cute and pleasant to have around. Some single women in Japan come home and tell their pink electronic teddy bears if they had a bad day at work. Grown men in the subway carry around cell phones with little dolls attached to them that make noises if you press them. Japanese anime is full of cute little robots like the phenomenally popular cartoon character Astro Boy that nurture the close bond between humans and machines from a very young age.

The Japanese are not weird.

Not weird. Dang, you're 0 for 2. This just in. That shit is wiggity wiggity wack!

But Apple is proving the Japanese belief that machines have to be neither extremely smart nor look like humans to elicit emotional attachment. They just need to be extremely helpful, sleek and beautiful.

Helpful. Sleek. Beautiful. Oh, baby.