Kill yourself. Seriously. No really. You are the ruiner of all things good.

This classic from Bill Hicks is funny. 

Of course, he's dead. So joke's on him, I guess.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure these people hate you:

You can pack all kinds of marketing goodness into a smartphone app, but no app is worth the space unless consumers remember to actually, you know, open it. Trouble is, the likelihood that users will download your app and then promptly forget about it is all too high.

New York digital agency Densebrain hopes its new program, Sonic Notify, will remedy the problem. Using technology initially developed for an app that tracks buses, Sonic Notify uses bits of audio code to deliver messages, ads, and more to smartphones.

Jonathan Glanz, Densebrain's founder and technical director, says the idea surfaced unexpectedly during a meeting with Procter & Gamble this year.

"[They] wanted to know how to differentiate themselves in aisle," he says. "We said we wished we could just set people's phones off when they're standing in front of [a] product. And all of a sudden, we thought, 'We have something that can do that.'"

Repurposing the bus tracking technology, Densebrain devised small beacons--designed to be hidden from view--that can be attached to shelves, and which emit inaudible, high-frequency sounds that trigger smartphone messages. The audio code can also be overlaid onto an existing audio track. As long as consumers have downloaded an app integrated with the technology, the smartphone will respond to the sound without user activation.

In-store, the system could alert shoppers to special promos. At home, it could provide interactive content cued to TV shows. It could even have uses for live concerts and sports events.

Sensitive to notification fatigue, the software does allow people to opt out of messages.