The Phonies! The Smartphone Wars awards week ending 12 November 2010

[Brian: 12 November 2011: A new feature! As long as I remember to do it...What was happening in The Smartphone Wars on this day a year (or two or three) ago. Below, my post from 12 November 2010. Fully unedited.]

It's been a quiet week in the Smartphone Wars trenches. Too quiet. Somebody's plotting something. A Gmail killer, perhaps? A patent lawsuit or four? A new well-funded partnership with an evil gatekeeper, I wonder? You cover me while I go find out.

And while I'm gone you can occupy yourself with the Phonies, our weekly smartphone wars awards.

Big Bang award

Windows Phone

The Windows Phone may be here to save us from our smartphones. Really. But, apparently, we reject salvation. Despite a international launch event, and millions -- hundreds of millions, perhaps -- spent on advertising, co-marketing, market research and partnerships, almost nobody actually bought a Windows Phone 7.

Some suggest that Microsoft is slowly building the market. There are suggestions that Microsoft is deliberately restricting sales in order to build anticipation (these people are truly dumb and need saving). Others suggest that Microsoft must do a better job of ramping up development, manufacture and distribution. Of course, maybe they're waiting for a really big push with the next version, when they'll have more developers, more apps, things like cut-and-paste.

And when Apple and Android will be 2 years in front of them.

The fake whisper number going around is that Microsoft sold all of 40,000 Win Phones on opening day (8 November). To put that in perspective, on 9 November, Activision sold 5.6 million copies of Call of Duty Black Ops.

That's a big bang. For Microsoft, Win Phone so far appears to be yet another black hole, sucking in cash and focus, while offering nothing in return. Microsoft may be a big bad dinosaur, but its eggs continue to be devoured by far hungrier, far more vicious rodents.

By 2016, Microsoft will be irrelevant. Maybe sooner. No amount of ad spending trying to make kids these days think Microsoft is cool will change that. Android is activating 200,000 plus devices -- a day. Consumer Reports named the Samsung Galaxy, an Android phone, the very best. Win Phone will not convert a single iPhone user. Even with Office and Exchange and Windows (PC edition) and relationships with *every* business in the world, a Blackberry is still superior.

The auto didn't simply kill off the horse and buggy. It altered the very ecosystem upon which the horse and buggy could even exist. The smartphone is doing this with the PC. Microsoft remains a PC company.

The Woolly Mammoth

Patents

A repeat winner. I'm all for protecting intellectual property. The goal of course, is to spur innovation, investment -- and make society better. With Apple filing patents for background colors of apps (which maybe I made up, maybe I didn't), everybody suing everybody in the US, and the rest of the world with an economy growing much faster than ours who doesn't give a shit about patents, well, that sure seems like an unsustainable system to me. Instead of a means to make better lives -- for the inventor, for the user, for the society -- they've devolved into a sort of speed trap. Everyone is breaking the law, really. And it's a bitch when one of us is unlucky enough to get pulled over.

Dinosaur Crossing

App is Dead meme

Can't this meme die? Of course, the app isn't dead. The app is alive, well -- and growing like weeds. Every platform has an app store. Every kid who can code is building apps. Every carrier is embracing the app. Businesses -- especially big businesses -- are rolling-out internal apps and app 'stores'. This will be so for the foreseeable future -- HTML5 and Flash change none of this. Apps work. Apps are optimized for the smartphone -- the future of computing.

The Google app? Yep, better than the Google (mobile) site. Your favorite website? On your smartphone, the app is better. Stop with the 'app is dead' nonsense. The app has only just begun its long, deep, extensive foray into all aspects of our daily lives. And don't even get me started on those of you who think the app is ultimately only for superfluous content.

The Carol

Yahoo staff

I predict that once Carol Bartz is booted up for failing Yahoo, she will write a book entitled "Running to Stand Still." So what's today's big news out of Yahoo? That it will hook up with News Corp? That Carol has said something wacky? That they're laying off 20% of their staff?

Nope. It's that Yahoo actually has to *lay off* workers? Who are these people? Does Yahoo hold their H1 Visa? Why would they actually be working for Yahoo? Can they not pass those Google hiring tests? Are they like the Japanese soldier on some deserted island who still thinks his country is at war?

What could possibly be keeping these people there? Are they all Jerry's relatives? Fuck if I know.

Magical and Revolutionary award

YouTube

No surprise that I'm a fan. It's not terribly difficult to wade through the crap to find what you want. All free, most without distracting ads. Short, original content. Archived cartoons. Clips from old films. Historical footage. Family videos.

Plus the site is becoming more smartphone friendly by the day. As noted earlier this week:

(A survey shows that) 75% of respondents say mobile is their primary way of accessing YouTube, and that 38% feel YouTube Mobile is replacing their desktop usage of the video service. 70% of users visit YouTube Mobile at least once a day, and 58% spend more than 20 minutes per visit, according to Google.

Even customer-made commercials can be worth watching.