Top 10: YouTube versus your lying eyes

I'm a believer. I believe that the smartphone, social media, the mobile web, location-based services, hyperglobal connectivity; all that good stuff will radically change the world. Everything. New wealth will be generated. New cities will thrive. Old ways will die.

But I'm not stupid.

YouTube, apparently, thinks otherwise. For they are floating an idea of having me pay $5 for the privilege of streaming Hollywood movies. While it is true that one of my rules for content is that: we want what we want when we want it on the device we want it, I never thought of adding a corollary that this doesn't happen through magic. We actually have to build services, innovate, improve broadband, improve access. Or another corollary: just cause Google wants to make money off YouTube (finally) doesn't mean YouTube viewers will open up their wallets.

$5 a movie. Streamed. Who is that desperate to see a Hollywood film? Better question, who is that stupid to believe that there would be a market for this? Let's look at the top 10 reasons why this Google plan will fail worse than Google Wave:

1. Everyday I drive past a Redbox vending machine out front of the nearby Walgreens. What, you too! I know! And they charge $1. That's four less than five for those keeping score at home.
2. Google Checkout. How can this still exist. It sucks. Paypal is radically superior. Hell, whatever Yahoo uses is better and I don't even know what that's called. 
3. Google Checkout, part 2. Doesn't Google have enough of our personal information, already? What? Now we give them our credit card information, home address, billing address, mother's maiden name and a record of our purchases?
4. Netflix
5. iTunes
6. Amazon
7. Streaming. I had a pretty decent WiFi connection and still that 30-second Charlie bit my finger video made me wait while it buffered.
8. The fifty million alternative free YouTube videos that will amuse, entertain, uplift and/or teach me; all for free.
9. Where's the porn?
10. Google actually knows gaming and social media better than charging for content and we know how bad they suck at those!

Your suggestions?